The Red Jaguar Warrior

I am really not a fan of running. Three years of high school cross country and I still just don’t get it. You run and run and run some more, and then you stop. There’s no ball to sprint after, no goals/runs/baskets/touchdowns to score, nothing to break up the monotony besides your gasping breaths and aching side. Never did I finish a 5k and think “Wow that was fun.”

Until now.

The moment my roommate The Tangential One first told me about the Warrior Dash, I knew somebody had finally invented a race I could get behind. Why? For many reasons, but mainly: there are obstacles. Serious obstacles. And I am a sucker for a good obstacle. Show me a large rock and I will inevitably want to climb it.

During my 3.1 mile journey, I scaled walls. Climbed over old trucks. Slogged through a freezing, chest-deep swamp. People, I jumped over flames. And that’s when the magic happens. Because when you’re crawling under barbed wire, you’re not really thinking about the stitch in your side. You’re not wondering how much longer you’ve got to run. You’re thinking DAMN I AM HARD CORE. If somebody held out a board right now, I could break it in half. With my head.

Pretending to stretch before the race. Go Red Jaguars!! If you haven't heard of Legend of the Hidden Temple, I pity your childhood.

Another reason to bask in the glory that is the Warrior Dash? The people. They are definitely a special breed. One part extreme athlete, one part beer, and two parts crazy. With extra awesome. We later decided that the whole thing had to have been invented by rugby boys…and then taken over by their wives since rugby boys just aren’t that organized.

Then there’s the mud. I love mud. I once played a high school soccer game on a field with this huge mud pit and afterward was seriously disappointed by the lack of mud on my person. I took the only prudent course of action left to me, got a running start, and slid into it head first. My Mom still reminds me of the moment when she thought Oh I’m sure glad Meg didn’t get too muddy from that game, we won’t mess up the car that much this time. Wait where is she going…is she headed towards the…no, she’s too mature to…*sigh.*

The mud involved in the Warrior Dash is on such a larger scale it’s hard to even comprehend. Suffice it to say when I got hosed down after the race, I lost about 4 pounds. In mud. I know all of you are rushing to sign up for next year right now.

A few minutes into the race, while I was desperately trying not to fall on my face for the thousandth time, my watch alarm went off. I didn’t think too much of it because I often use my watch as a reminder to do something. Then a few seconds later I realized – it was the 10th second of the 10th minute of the 10th day of the 10th month of the 10th year of the century and I was right in the middle of competing in the coolest, MOST EPIC race in history.

Best. Timing. Ever.


About The 1st Draft

I am a 30-something English teacher living in the Midwest who loves books, television, soccer, a good conversation, Cardinals baseball, and playing with my adorable nieces and nephews.
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9 Responses to The Red Jaguar Warrior

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  9. Unfortunately, camera issues prevented me from taking any post-race pictures on my own camera. I’m guessing the photos captured by the people at the event are going to be pretty epic, so I’ll probably have to buy a copy of some of those. Although how do they get off charging $15 for a 5×7 print? Weird.

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