A mystery is solved.

Did I not mention that I was going to take a month off from writing? Really? Could have sworn I said something. I mean, hey, I had just sent my blog’s address to a couple dozen of my closest family and friends, what better time to abandon it entirely? To make amends to the few possible readers who remain, I’m going to make this post life altering. No, seriously, it’s going to be earth shattering, mind blowing stuff.

Do you ever wake up one morning with a mysterious injury and have no idea how it happened? A bruise that just appeared out of nowhere, a sore foot even though all you did the day before was lay around and watch TV? Maybe this just happens to clumsy people. If I took note every time I managed to injure myself in the oddest way possible, I wouldn’t have time for much else.

For me, it’s always the random scrape that confounds me. Somehow I’m able to run headfirst into walls and never bruise but a brush of fingernail on my skin leaves its mark for days. I have scars whose origins remain a mystery.

Then there’s my left pointer finger. For years I have noticed small tears in my skin just below the tip. It never seems to fully heal. Rarely can I resist picking at it, so for awhile I figured it was a self-perpetuating wound. I tried to think of things I do regularly with that finger that could be causing the injury and a crazy theory occurred to me. The implications of this theory made me far too introspective, so I tried to put it out of my mind. That is until I was opening my Diet Coke at dinner tonight and cut myself on that exact spot on my finger right as I popped the top.

As the blood began to flow, two questions immediately sprang to mind:

1. How many cans of Diet Coke does it take to keep a cut fresh for years on end?
2. How, after that many Diet Cokes, have I not gotten better at opening the can??

So now I know. Not sure quite what to do about it, since reducing my intake of Diet Coke is obviously out of the question. Maybe it’s like my Dad always said in softball: focus on catching the ground ball before you try to throw it. Concentrate on opening the can before you guzzle. Words to live by.

How BLOWN is your mind right now???

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About The 1st Draft

I am a 30-something English teacher living in the Midwest who loves books, television, soccer, a good conversation, Cardinals baseball, and playing with my adorable nieces and nephews.
This entry was posted in Nuttin' and tagged , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

2 Responses to A mystery is solved.

  1. sis says:

    Made me laugh while drinking my morning coffee. You’re such a gifted writer.

  2. Kathi says:

    Your writing has reached a new level!!! You have written about nothing really important and made it very amusing. Seinfeld will be very jealous.

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