It seems a bit odd how hilarious the end of the world has become to me. At some point I’m sure the idea was somewhat off-putting. Then I watched the movie 2012. Picture the last surviving members of the human race on the deck of a giant metal ark, heading off into the sunset with hope for the future shining brightly in their eyes. Just before the dramatic zoom out into a wide angle shot of the Earth, still spinning, the father and daughter have a touching moment:
“Wherever we’re all together that’s home, right? Don’t be scared,” soothes Dad.
“I’m not,” says the little girl, pausing to look around and lower her voice to a conspiratorial whisper. “No more Pull-ups.”
“Nice!” beams the father after a quick glance at Mom to make sure the kid has in fact moved past her bed-wetting issues now that the world has ended.
I actually went back and watched the last 20 seconds again, trying to figure out how those could possibly be the last words in the whole movie. Never have I laughed so hard at something that wasn’t supposed to be funny.
Then there’s the guys over at wecanknow.org. These folks start out by acknowledging that knowing when the world will end can be a tricky undertaking, what with all the conflicting “doomsday speculations.” Good thing we can know for sure, cause one guy found an exact date for Judgment Day that the other trillion readers of the Bible must have just missed. I’m glad we can know for sure without any of that dang speculating. It just gets funnier when people like Eternal Earth-Bound Pets or the guy on craigslist offering to buy all your stuff before the apocalypse enter the picture.
My hilarity at the world’s obsession with its own demise was complete today when I saw the CDC’s official instructions on how to cope with a zombie apocalypse. “I’m a public health doctor,” says the author. “Even postmortem, I haven’t given up on you.” That’s actually very good to know.
Just in case the world does end tomorrow and I never see any of you again, it really was nice knowing you. Oh and Mom – don’t forget what I told you about my apocalypse plan. Seriously.