Because when left to my own devices things like this happen:
Apparently I have drunk 15 Diet Cokes in the week and a half that The Flying Crane has been gone. Here are some other statistics from my time living alone:
Number of times I’ve unloaded the dishwasher: 0
Number of empty boxes on the kitchen counter: 7
Number of shoes piled up by the door: 8
Number of times I’ve taken out the trash: 0
Pieces of mail stacked on the table: 24
I really hope The Flying Crane doesn’t come home early because I think she would run away screaming.