The Leaning Parallelogram of Gingerbread

Between getting new tires, buying a present for our gift exchange, making candy cane cookies, and putting together and decorating the gingerbread house, I had a lot to do today before our Christmas party at 4. The Flying Crane and I didn’t start assembling the house until around 2:30 and it was about as far from structurally sound as you can get without being a pile of broken pieces. Thank goodness for lots of icing a.k.a. edible cement.

I was literally just starting to decorate it as guests began arriving, so I didn’t really do as much as I had planned. I basically just shingled it with bite size Frosted Mini-Wheats and did hastily-drawn door and windows. Luckily people jumped in and took turns adding little touches to it all night. A special shout out goes to Cecily for all the greenery and The Instigator for the amazing Doctor Who graffiti on the back. Here’s how it turned out:

You can’t really tell, but the house is actually a parallelogram. One person compared it to one of those optical illusions where you think the lines are at a weird angle when in reality they’re perfectly square. Except our lines actually are at a weird angle. This photo manages to conceal the house’s unique dimensions rather well. It also conceals just how freakin’ huge the thing is.

Speaking of scale, someone else asked me why the door is so small in comparison to the windows. First of all, people keep telling me natural light is good. And second, have you seen how short I am? Have you seen how short my roommate is? We can’t reach the top shelf and we have to have every single pair of pants we own hemmed, we should get to have a tiny door on our gingerbread house if we damn well please.

Made-from-scratch gingerbread houses still fall firmly in the NEVER AGAIN category, but now that the hard parts (plural parts as in very very many) are over, I have to say I’m enjoying it. The Instigator asked if he could destroy it for fun at the end of the night and I gave him a look like he had asked if he could sell my first born child into slavery. By the way one of the side walls has slowly been creeping inwards all night, I have a feeling it’s going to come down by its own volition long before anyone else gets the chance.

Going back to the gift exchange for a moment, I’d just like to say that my gift was the most sought after out of all of them. Last-minute shopping at Marshall’s FTW!!


About The 1st Draft

I am a 30-something English teacher living in the Midwest who loves books, television, soccer, a good conversation, Cardinals baseball, and playing with my adorable nieces and nephews.
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2 Responses to The Leaning Parallelogram of Gingerbread

  1. Larry McD says:

    What a great party idea…. make the raw house and have your guests do all the finishing touches!!! Sounds like a great party and a great crowd… with the exception of the instigator’s request. Good that you could do it with a look cause I’d have had to say “Well, of course you may. Just let me know where you want me to store the two body parts you’re going to leaving behind… the refrigerator or the trash can.”

    I’m with your mom. I want to see the Tardis drawing on the back!

  2. yo mama says:

    I love it, except I wanted to see the Dr. Who graffiti! Sounds like a great party. Merry Christmas!

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